A few days back I wrote about my Uncle David. I wrote about the tragic way in which he was taken away. I wrote because I had to. Because it’s this dark place in my soul that haunts me this time of year. I can’t see a Christmas tree without remembering. I can’t get to this point in the year without stopping to think of him. To pause and remember. And when I do, the tears still come. I don’t walk through my days in sadness. I truly don’t. I remember the good things. I carry them with me like smiles. I do smile at the thought of him. It’s just this time of the year that I get solemn and remember and wish he was still here.

After that entry I had a few people contact me and tell me they could related. I know that

missmacabre felt compelled to speak about Eric as well. I was very touched to see that my words could affect another persons day and thoughts in such a way. I wrote my words to try to come to terms with my own feelings. But to see the effect on someone else, well it did have its own affect on me as well.

Last night someone contacted me to tell me he read the same diary entry. He proceeded to tell me about his brother who was tragically killed on 4/14/2001. He left behind a pregnant wife and a young daughter. I didn’t know John but when I read his words regarding his brother..

Do me a favor and save this 4/14/2001 look it up in the journal (ri) archives newspaper clipping someday and see what they wrote about him he was really like a legend he knew so many people. Literally 2000 thousand people went through the wake. The signature book tells…

I am not too ashamed to say I cried real tears. To be 32 and die. So unfair.

I’d like to stop today and pay my respects to his brother. Even though I didn’t know him personally… And I would like to thank those out there that read my entry and came to me with stories to share. It all made me feel not so alone. That in itself makes me feel stronger about this.

Please say a prayer for his family and remember to tell those around you that they are loved. You can read about his life here….

To all of you out there that know me

through my diary or in a different way...thank you for reading my words. Thank you for telling me how they affected you.

And a special thank you to “him” for telling me you care enough to check out what I’m doing. It does matter to me alot. The same way it matters to me how you are doing. I'll always be in your corner.

Achin' to be...

PoeticaL

I've lost alot of people in my lifetime, my Father included...last year. I wrote this about saying goodbye to him the only way I knew how. And...Dark..I am reminded of David right now. All we ever have is memories....

Surface of the Sky

I’m tired of just missing you.

Tired of blinking you in my eye.

I’m weak and I’m weary.

Though I’m trying to stay high.

Silent agony echoes.

Louder than any screams.

I am no one without you.

I’m dying in my bad dreams.

I walked out on the beach last night.

I swear I heard you say goodbye.

Your memory was a beautiful sight.

You were there at the surface of the sky.