here's my list of good things...it took me all of 15 minutes to type this up. I didn't have to think long or hard.

1. I got a raise from my employer within two weeks of taking his advice my boss saw the differences in me and re-reviewed me.

2. He was able to determine that most of my problems in life were due to my doing things ‘on a whim’ and since I have stopped doing that I have stopped doing so many irrational things.

3. I bought the book “Body for Life” and seriously started to address my weight problem not for him but for myself because I realized that I was trying to lie about whom I was because I was ashamed.

4. I have read 2 “learn it yourself” computer books in order to better my job prospects. Until he suggested I go about learning this way I had no direction and no idea how to learn anything without the money for school. I have read HTML for Dummies and PowerPoint.

5. I took an online writing course he gave me for my birthday and started to write a novel because of his encouragement and belief in me.

6. I wrote down a list of goals because of “his” influence. He taught me about DETERMINATION, PERSISTANCE AND ACTION. You have to have all 3.

7. I found tripod and designed my own website because of “him” which led to a sense of self-satisfaction and accomplishment. (He did the homepage for me as a gift.)

8. I learned that relationships are based on trust, communication, respect and a deep friendship from interacting with him for 2 ½ years. He and I spoke for an average of at least 2 hours a day for the last year.

9. He taught me that in order for any relationship to work you have to be friends first. If you take the time to build a strong friendship and learn about each other the right way, you will succeed. No wonderful relationship will be had in a few months time.

10. He convinced me that it was important for me to express myself to my therapist in the same way that I was speaking to him. When I started to get “real” in therapy it started to have much more impact.

11. Twice when other people I cared for messed with my head, he got me back on track and headed in a positive and good direction.

12. He was there for me through a lot of very difficult issues. He taught me what being a friend means, by his example.

I know it’s easy to look at his anger, or my frustrations and think that it means it was all bad. If there was bad it was what I gave him in return for so much good. Not the other way around. This world is blessed for having him.

He told me once that there were 9.9 million people online at any given time. I was a very lucky girl to have ever had the chance to know him. I think I didn’t know what to do with such a wonderful gift. Like a child holding a crystal vase, I dropped it.
My feet will be bleeding walking through the shards for a long time.

oh wait...one last thing...if you believe in god and you read this..pray for "him", he's taking some important tests soon. I want to see him ace them like I know only "he" can!!!!